Hi! I’m a girl and I’m having sex with another girl. The other day I had oral sex for the first time and I didn’t feel much. It kind of hurt and I don’t know why. When she fingers me it also hurts. What do you think about it? I love your blog!

Hi Darling,
Oral & fingering isn’t supposed to hurt, so it’s very likely that your partner isn’t doing it right (I’m not saying she’s bad at it or doing it “wrong” but some people need to be stimulated a certain way and obviously, her way of doing it isn’t yours) – what you need to do is to figure out what you like by yourself. Take some time to masturbate and explore your body, locate your most sensitive spot, find out what’s the best rhythm, the right amount of pressure and pretty much everything that works for you and brings you to climax. Then it’s time to communicate. There’s nothing wrong with talking about sex with your partner and let her know what you need to get there. You don’t want to make it sound like she’s a bad lover, so use your words wisely or simply guide her while she’s going down on you. Dirty talking is a good way to subtly suggest what you need/where you need to be touched while making it sound sexy. So just open yourself up a little and talk. x